Breaking Up Is Hard To Do...

No one likes to break up, at least no one I know. However, if you are dating or in a relationship, chances are you will break up everytime you are in a relationship, except of course for the person you eventually marry. And that may also end in divorce in these times.

Anywho, there are ways to go about breaking up which will be easier to handle on both sides.

1. Seek advice. If you are in doubt about whether to break up or not, talk it over with a trusted individual. Other people who are not involved are more able to see things that you may not be able to. They are able to analyze things without all the emotional involvement you have.

2. Act on your decision. Should you decide to break up, follow up with action. Do not hesitate. This may be classified as leading the other person on and this is never a good thing. Also, don't swayed by promises of change and so on. Stick with your decision once you have made it.

3. Think about the other person's feelings. You once cared a great deal for this person. Do not bring up negative things that have happened in the past. That is exactly where they are, in the past. There is no need to bring them up to the present again. Instead, focus on the good times that you had together. The other person needs to know that despite you breaking up, he or she is still a great person.

4. Let it be known to the other person that you were not perfect also. No one is. Figure out what went wrong and how you had contributed to things ending up the way they did.

5. Be honest with the person. Tell them the real reason or reasons that you are breaking up for. That person deserves at least to know why you are ending things. Even though it may hurt that person hearing it, it will only serve to make him or her a better person in the next relationship, (unless they choose not to learn and grow from their experiences).

6. Pick a good time and place to do the break up. Choose a place where you are able to talk and not feel self conscious.

7. Let some time pass before you decide to see each other again. Give yourself some time to heal. Be careful of how you act with this person so as to not give the other person false hope that you may get back together. Keep it simple.

How To Have A Successful Long Distance Relationship

Long distance relationships are hard work! First of all, relationships themselves are hard work! Add some long distance to that and you've got your work set out for you. Of course, like all relationships, if you do your work to keep the relationship healthy, then it should be good. But the other person should also be doing his or her share of the work as well. It's a two way street.

I think it boils down to one necessity, and I will write this in bold letters: COMMUNICATION! There is no relationship without communication, especially when it comes to LD's. Because you are both not physically together most of the time, this is all that you have to keep things going.

We hear it all over and all the time that long distance relationships never work out. Well, that is not true. I don't know about this personally unfortunately. I have had a couple LD's, I am in one right now as a matter of fact, but like I said, without communication, you have nothing. Those couples who do make it knew what worked and they worked hard at keeping the other person happy.

Other things that determine whether LD's will work out is age, distance apart and for how long you will be apart. Two fifteen year olds will more than likely not be able to carry on a long distance for very long because they are too young. Now two adults may be able to make it work even though there are thousands of miles between them.

All in all, if two people are committed to each other and to making things work no matter how hard it will be and that they will have very good communication in letting each other know what is going on with them and what they need, they have a very good chance of ending up together in the end.

Why Do Men Cheat?

Well, that is the million dollar question isn't it? Women all across the globe want the answer to that question. I know I used to wonder about this for so long and I still do question myself from time to time. However, I have come to realize that like women, they too have their reasons.

Here is a list of reasons I have come to find that shows us why some men cheat:

1. Revenge. Some men may think their partners are cheating, whether they are or aren't. Because of this, they go out and do the same.

2. Lack of physical attraction. We all know that each man has a certain "thing" that they admire the most on women. A man may be attracted by a woman's ass for instance and it may so happen that his partner doesn't have. So, he comes across a woman who does have and there you go. Of course, this doesn't mean he was intentionally looking to cheat. Some men do though.

3. She's not around. She may be too busy with her life, job, family, so on. Regardless, when a woman is not present, a man is more likely to stray.

4. The grass is always greener on the other side. That is human nature. We think the grass is greener on the other side, yet when we get there, it may not seem that way then. Sometimes it is, but sometimes it isn't and we are disappointed.

5. To boost the ego. Plain and simple. To feel good about himself. He may be feeling down for whatever reason and just knowing that another woman wants him will shoot his self-esteem way up!

These are the most common reasons, but there are more. We all come up with reasons to justify our actions no matter what.

Is It Better To Live Together Before Marriage?

The statistics are higher than ever for couples living together. So many people are taking this route rather than to just jump in and tie the not, but let’s check out the pros and cons of both sides before making any judgement.

People are changing their mentalities and views on this rather hot topic, especially in today’s ever changing society. More and more couples are taking this road and living together before making the big decision as to whether they wish to spend the rest of their lives together.

Of course, who is to blame for all the divorces happening in today’s society? Generations ago, when people got married, it really was “for better or for worse”. They stuck it out, through sickness, health, adultery, everything. But now, you do not go a day without hearing about someone’s marriage falling apart. So does this mean that it is a good idea to live together?

Many people who wait to live with someone until they are married are religious. As the Bible says, you should not live with someone unless you are married. You should not have sex unless you are married. But again, in our society, there are few virgins left. Our generation loses their virginity in their early teens. So this does not really apply to us anymore. Couples are still having sex whether they are living together or not.

Couples who live together often say that they do this prior to marriage because they want to see if their partner and they will really fit together… to get to really know them. So, they live together. I was once told by someone who is married, “You will never really know the other person until you live with them”. This is so true. Now many people say, especially religious persons, that you do not need to live with a person, all you have to do is spend a lot of time together. Although I do see some sense in this, it is still a very big issue that a lot of people wear masks while dating. They may keep these masks on for years. So even if you date someone for 5 years, they may still turn out to be someone totally different once you marry.

In my opinion, which is based on observing so many different relationships, both married, living together and dating, I have come to realize that it may be good to live together before marriage. I mean, who would be proud of saying that they have been married 5 times because they got married at a young age and it did not work out, so they got married over and over again? Of course, marriage is a great thing, if you are ready for it. It all just depends on who you are, you values and background and where you are in life. To each his own.

Should You Stay Or Should You Go?

Deciding whether you should stay in a relationship or whether you should leave is something many people refuse to do. We all want to be in a relationship; we all want someone to love and someone to love us. No relationship is perfect. We all have ups and downs. However, there are times when we must look at our troubled relationships and really ask ourselves: Should I stay or should I go?

There may be something left to save and to work at. If there is still love in the relationship, if you still care and respect each other regardless of what has happened in the past, then there may be something left to save. If you both can sit down and talk about what your problems are in a mature and loving way and you decide that you both want to try to work it out, then you have a shot at getting to where you once were.

But remember, it takes two to make a relationship work; therefore, if only one person is doing the work or wants it to work, then it is better to walk away. If only one of you is bringing love and respect to the relationship, then that should give you something to think about. And if none of you is doing anything constructive, part ways. You should think about giving yourself and the other person a chance for happiness with someone else.

Is It Love or Just An Infatuation?

Infatuation is an instant desire. Love is a friendship that has grown overtime and which grows with each passing day.

Infatuation always has at it's base insecurity. One is never sure, there are doubts clouding one's mind. You do not wish to acknowledge certain things because you want to see this person as perfect. Love is knowing that this person is yours and that no matter how far away you may be or how much time separates you, you are there for each other and the relationship can withstand this distance and time. Love is the knowledge and acceptance that this person is not perfect.

Infatuation is the notion that you have to act and act quickly. It is the feeling that if you do not move in together, get married, then you will lose your chance. Love is patience. Knowing that you have time and that you should not hurry. There is time to plan for the best outcome.

Infatuation is based on sex. You cannot wait to see that person in order to have sex. Sex is one of the main highlights in infatuation. You mainly look forward to that sexual act whenever you come in contact with the other person. Love is much more than sex. You can be with each other without needing sex from the other person. In love, when sex does happen, it has a much deeper meaning than just pure sexual desire and excitement.

Infatuation has an air of lack of confidence. When you are not together, you wonder if that person is being unfaithful. You become suspicious and prone to jealousy. Love means trust. You do not need to be jealous because you are secure in the relationship.

Infatuation may lead you to do things you normally would not do. Negative things. You may start ignoring people in your life to be with this person. Love will lift you up. It will motivate you to become a better person.

Frequent Mistakes People Make in Relationships

I found this article about the most frequent mistakes people make in relationships today. So many of us do not realize that the actions we take in our lives affect others in negative ways. We tend to forget or acknowledge that in order for us to really communicate with someone, we must first listen. If you do not listen to the other party, are you really communicating? Think about it.

Anywho, here is the excerpt I took from the article which lists the most frequent mistakes people make in relationships:

"1. Taking the responsibility for other peoples’ feelings, attitudes or emotions.

2. Carrying old baggage from the past into a new relationship.

3. Not managing conflict in a positive way.

4. Stuffing feelings, fears, desires, frustrations and emotions.

5. Not sharing your needs or desires with your relationship partner.

6. Spending too much time either in the future or the past.

7. Inadequate self-disclosure.

8. Unwillingness to accept the other person for who he/she really is.

9. Reacting to behavior – rather than the person behind the behavior.

10. Invalidating the other person’s opinions, values, beliefs and/or attitudes.

11. Not managing your expectations or attachment to the other person’s outcomes.

12. Inability to forgive yourself and/or the other person.

13. Seeing the other person as having faults rather than a reflection of your own expectations or prejudices.

14. Trying to change your partner.

15. One or both of you have low self-esteem.

16. Emotional manipulation like blame, guilt or anger.

17. Not maintaining a romantic outlook regardless of your age.

18. Always thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the street.

19. Not understanding the needs of different personality styles.

20. When one or both people have an out of control ego.

"Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally renowned sales, management and leadership speaker, trainer and best selling author. Since 1981 he has given over 3500 presentations in 21 countries on a variety of sales, management, leadership and relationship topics. He is the best selling author of over 60 books including; Soft Sell, That’s Life, Peace Of Mind, 91 Challenges Managers Face Today and Your First Year In Sales. He can be reached at tim@timconnor.com, 704-895-1230 or visit his website at http://www.timconnor.com/Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tim_Connor

Welcome!

Everyone wants to be loved. However, there is no perfect relationship. Relationships take work. No matter what kind, we all need help, in whatever form suits us. We may choose to read a book, talk to a friend, or seek out a professional about issues we are dealing with. We all want a perfect relationship.

Knowledge is power and the more you know, the better equiped you become to dealing with what life has to offer you. Here, you will find resources about relationships. Resources that will help you to think about what it truly takes to have a successful relationship with someone.
Everything starts in the mind!

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